Dear Mom,
I survived my first Christmas with out you. For the first time in 5 years we loaded up our truck and went somewhere different for the holiday, so that we wouldn't have to be at home that is full of Christmas memories with you. You always spend it with us. I missed our amazing Christmas Eve dinner, and Christmas morning mimosas with you. It will never be the same now.
I took a bath and the minute I was alone I could not stop the tears from pouring down my face. I missed you so intensely it ached. I just can not understand why you wanted to leave and its so unfair that you are gone. People assure me that you are no longer in pain and are in a "better place" but there is no better place than with my kids on Christmas morning. I would give anything to understand and knowing that I will never have an answer is agony.
I miss your laugh and your voice.
Love,
Your Daughter
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